More.

I'm seventeen years old, my life hasn't even really begun. This used to terrify me, the fact that I am only seventeen years old and life is already exhausting. This stressed me out and kept me awake to think about that I've already gone through so much, and that I have still so much to go through. But then I changed my point of view. The average person lives until about 80. I'm planning to live until forever, but let's stick with 80 to keep the math simple :). That means that I have 63 years left of life. 63 years to write my story. 63 years to create memories and tales that will be passed down through my family long after I'm gone. I feel like we think that life defines us, but when really we define life. We define what it is we want, and wether or not we want to get it. I am about to enter my senior year of high school, and looking back I realize what I want. I want more than this, I want more than petty drama, more than having to be popular, more than always having to have a boyfriend, more than having to look a certain way or act a certain way, more than having to follow a strict set of rules. No, I thirst for something bigger. When I die i want to look back and be like HECK YES! I want my life to mean something. I want to be somebody that my friends and family are proud of. I heard a great saying today, and it goes like this..."You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." Thats what i want. The truth is, you dont get a do over. This is it. You get one shot. Im going to tell you a story that may or may not have anything to do with this convo. It was my sophomore year, and we had a huge soccer game against our rivals...Regents. I was turnt for this game. So excited. So nervous. Anyways we started playing and it was a very aggressive game haha. Im pretty sure we were losing haha. I am a very emotional player, meaning that i get really into it and mad A LOT. So then i got fouled in the box which meant i got a penalty kick. For those of you not knowing what a penalty kick is, its when you get a direct shot on goal, one on one with goalie. As i was standing there gettng ready to take my shot, i got distracted. I started to think about all the people watching, my teamates hoping i would make this, and the other goals we would need to score after to win the game. Well i missed my shot. I missed a clear shot on goal. Probably one of the most embaressing things ever haha. But it did teach me someting, if you think to hard, youll miss it. Thats kinda how life is, if we get distracted by all of the little things, and the meaningless things, and money, and stupid stuff like drugs, we will miss out on life. And you only get one shot at life. You dont get a do over. So im done. Im done with ppleasing other people, and sacrificing my morals and own happiness. I have realized that no matter how many people hate you, you can still have fun by yourself. Besides true friends are those who stick around...ok getting distracted, I will have to write a friendship blog soon. Anyways i think of life as a tree. A tree that grows a lot of fruits. Some fruits are tasty and yummy and can make you feel awesome, others are rotten and sour. But if you dont eat from the tree, you will starve to death. Yeah I have gone through some tough times, and made some stupid descisions, but the good news is...I HAVE 63 YEARS TO WRITE A BETTER STORY. Sorry but im stoked. Yeah i like this blog and really do try and pour my heart into it, but sometimes it makes no sense. Sorry if this made no sense haha :)